Matthew Sadler

We cry for the things Matt will never be'
Matt Sadler's sister Lesley Stringer read a family statement on the steps of Lewes Crown Court: “Throughout this whole ordeal, my family has tried to show Matt for exactly who he was and how we will always remember him.

“We’ve never portrayed him as an angel or as perfect. He wasn’t ever those things and he would have hated to be thought of that way.

“He was loud, often wild, funny, fast and friendly. He was kind, generous and motorbike mad with a wicked, quick, dry sense of humour. He enjoyed living every moment of his life without regret or more importantly, fear.

“We are not blinded to the fact that Matt was also a normal teenager, a 17-year-old lad.

“He enjoyed a drink, socialising, a cigarette, spending time doing silly teenage things with his many, many friends or riding his beloved motorbike, usually far too fast.

“Mostly though, Matt always supported the underdog, challenged unfairness and was incredibly loyal to his friends. Most of all, he was fiercely protective of his family. We all loved Matty and will miss him terribly in far too many ways to mention.

“We are still grieving for Matty and probably will be for a lot longer as we are not only missing a l7-year-old son, brother, uncle, nephew, cousin or friend but we cry for all the things he will never be and we cry for the loss of his future.

“We will never know what he could have become. We will never know his children, who would have been our grandchildren, nieces, nephews and cousins.

“We will never know him as a man, as a husband or father. He will always be ‘Little Matty’ to us. Little Matty that always grabbed life with both hands and lived it as hard and as fast as he could.

“Matt whose life was so tragically taken and his future has been lost to him, and lost to us, his family and friends. At this time it is important to remember Fred, Matt’s dad and my stepdad, who Matty adored and admired.

“Fred gave up fighting his illness after Matt died and as a consequence our family has had to endure two massive losses as a direct result of one person – Michael Morden.

“Knowing how much Matt loved and protected his family, it is painful to know that this whole torment has been caused by a person who called himself Matt’s friend.

“Michael Morden does not deserve the honour of being known as Matt’s friend. There were five young people in the car that night and he deliberately ran from the four injured people with total disregard for any of their lives.

“Feel the fear and do it anyway”

It’s the title of a book by Susan Jeffers. It was published in 1987. It is available in 100 different countries and in 30 different languages.

When Maria phoned me to tell me about Matthew passing I was devastated. I cried a lot. I still keep crying. I will probably cry a lot more. At some stage though, I started trying to make sense of it all. As Martin said it is difficult to make sense of it. Every time I thought about it the same phrase kept coming into my head, “Feel the fear and do it anyway.”

I first met Matthew when he was 9. At the time I was Head teacher at Cornerstones. I was a young head teacher, a bit of a pup really, making it up as I went along! When I first Matthew, he was only a little thing. I took one look at him and thought, “No problem!!”

Matthew was not afraid to tell the truth. At our school, as in any school, the students would often fall out, get into arguments with each other, and call each other names. We used to have a system of meetings called Level Meetings. The idea was that students would be invited to attend the meeting to discuss the incident they had been involved in. It was my job to then make sense of the incident and then put in place sanctions if and when appropriate. It was an important meeting as it helped students learn about how to manage conflict. It was made difficult as students would often claim they didn’t do anything, “It wasn’t me, it was him.” I got used to this. I remember the first meeting Matthew attended. He just sat there and in a very matter of fact way said, “Yes I did it!” I was really shocked. It was as simple as that. He made my job very much easier. I was able to make good decisions because I knew the truth. Matthew became a very good role model to the other students. I noticed at other meetings other children started to tell the truth.

Matthew was not afraid of a challenge. When Matthew first came to Cornerstones, he had missed a lot of education and was behind in his work. We wanted him to take some exams but he had a lot of work to do to catch up and in a short space of time. He did it though. He took the exams. When the results came through he had done brilliantly. It was amazing. I was so excited at how well he had done that I ran up and down the street shouting with joy. Matthew just took it in his stride. I don’t think he understood the significance of his achievement. As I ran up and down the road screaming, his only comment was, “She’s bloody mental!”

Matthew was not afraid to lead the way. He came into school one day with his eyebrow pierced. I was a bit shocked. We didn’t even have a school policy to cover this. I had wanted my eye brow pierced for a while. I remember thinking how come he can have his eye brow pierced and I can’t! I got on the phone to my boss Beverley, and asked if I could. She said, “Yes of course you can!” I was scared. I didn’t need to be. Mattie talked me through it. He explained what would happen and I had it done. No problem.


Matthew was not afraid to be generous. When I left Cornerstones at the same time as Nic (another teacher) I remember the present Matthew gave me. Maria shared this story with me. Matthew found out that I prefer to wear silver to gold so he asked his mum to buy some jewellery for me and Nic but he insisted that she buy two pieces for me as silver is cheaper than gold and he wanted it to be fair. I thought it was really nice that he had taken the trouble to find out that I preferred to wear silver.

After I left Cornerstones I thought I wouldn’t see Matthew again but then I got a call from Maria asking me would I help set up an after school club in Whitehawk for children with ADHD. I said yes. Feel the fear and do it anyway! And I did! Matthew helped set up the club. He helped to secure the grant by filling in the form. He helped name the club and organise the activities. After a while he trained to be a mentor. I remember him doing the training. He turned up on time, smartly dressed. Matthew was not afraid of responsibility.

I have wanted a tattoo for a while now. I want a red dragon. I want this because I am Welsh and in particular now because Wales won the Grand Slam (rugby) at the weekend. I was amazed when I discovered that Matthew had a dragon tattoo. Sadly Matthew isn’t here to talk me through this one so I will just have to manage this one on my own. I will “feel the fear and do it anyway.” I know that I just have to think of him and I will be fine.

Matthew was not afraid to live. That is how I will remember him.


Melanie Rees – in loving memory of Matthew Sadler – Thursday 20th March 2008